


I Didn't Know

by WaywardRomance



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Bands, Emo, Fanfiction, Fluff, Hurt, M/M, Panic At The Disco (Band), Past Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Romance, Ryden
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaywardRomance/pseuds/WaywardRomance
Summary: Brendon always thought him and Ryan would settle down and get married. That's what Ryan always told him.But seven years after they split up, and Brendon thought Ryan was out of his life for good, he bumps into Ryan who recently moved to LA.Will they get back together, or did their love truly end all those years ago?





	1. Chapter 1

~Cape Town, 2009~

Brendon sighed, looking out at the ocean, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. A nervous habit he had picked up over the years.

Ryan said he needed to talk to him, but Brendon noticed that when Ryan had said that, he didn't see that sparkle in his honey brown eyes that he was used to seeing. That love and admiration. Instead he saw sadness, and sympathy.

And it scared him.

Ryan came up behind him a few minutes later, clearing his throat. "Brendon.." He said softly. He didn't want to do this. Didn't want to leave him. But it was too much. Everything was too much. He couldn't handle what was going on in his head.

Brendon stiffened. Ryan sounded sad. He prayed that this wasn't going to be what he was thinking. "Yeah, babe? What's up?" Brendon forced a smile, looking at Ryan almost pleadingly.

Ryan winced at the pet name and looked away, trying to figure out how to word everything. He frowned and started by slipping off the promise ring Brendon had given him, placing it into Brendon's hand. "I can't do this anymore." He finally got the words out. The words he was dreading to say for weeks now, ever since he had made his decision.

Brendon's heart broke into a million pieces as he looked down at the ring. So many happy memories attached to that little piece of jewelry. He looked up at Ryan, tears pricking at his eyes. "W-What did I do..? I can be better! I-" He began to ramble, but Ryan held a hand up to stop him.

"Brendon, it's not just you. I love you, and I'll always love you. But I just can't. The band, us, it's all just.. Too much right now. I need to focus on myself. Take some time." Ryan said calmly, but he wouldn't try and hide the tears that were pricking at his own eyes. He had finally done it. Said what he needed to. But he hated himself for it. Seeing how heartbroken Brendon looked. That would haunt him for the rest of his life.

~Seven years later, 2016~

Brendon had it all. A nice house, a successful band, money, his recent album was blowing up the charts, but he felt... Lonely. He had been married, but it was short lived. He didn't love her. He thought he did. Truth is, he hadn't felt love since Ryan left him. He needed to stop dwelling on the past, but he couldn't. 

He kept that promise ring on a chain around his neck. Pathetic? Yes. But Ryan had been his everything. His world. He thought they were gonna get married, because that's what Ryan always told him.

And he fucking believed him. God, he was so stupid for believing him.

He had decided to go for a walk down to one of the local record shops to clear his head. He entered, looking around. Not that he needed more albums anyway, but who cared? He loved music. 

He was quiet and lost in thought, until he bumped into somebody. He flushed and quickly began to apologize. "Oh! I'm sorry, I-" He froze. 

No.

"...Brendon?"


	2. Well, this is awkward..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...Brendon?"  
> No.  
> Brendon couldn't even begin to process what was happening.  
> This had been his worst fear for years.  
> Standing right there infront of him, with his stupid attractive face, and his stupid haircut, was none other than Ryan Ross.  
> The man who had broken his heart, and ruined his life.

"...Brendon?"

No.

Brendon couldn't even begin to process what was happening.

This had been his worst fear for years.

Standing right there in front of him, with his stupid attractive face, and his stupid haircut, was none other than Ryan Ross.

The man who had broken his heart, and ruined his life.

God, time had been good to him.

Brendon took a few seconds to compose himself before speaking, careful to keep his voice as even as possible, even though it threatened to crack with emotion.

"Ryan? I didn't know you moved to LA.. It's uh- It's been awhile." He cleared his throat, forcing a small smile as he looked at the older man.

He was lucky he had gotten any words out at all, his body automatically starting to tremble when he heard his voice.

But he couldn't let Ryan see that he was still hurting. Although, if he listened to Panic! anymore since he had left, it was evident in the songs.

Way to go, Bren. Idiot of the year award goes to you.

He shook his head slightly when Ryan spoke, breaking out of his thoughts.

"I've been here for about a month now, actually. But who would have thought we would run into eachother?" Ryan gave a soft laugh, but it wasn't natural. It was forced.

Of course it was forced.

Brendon nodded in agreement, shifting his feet around and clearing his throat again. "Right? It's crazy. But uh- Nice to see you again. I gotta go."

And with that, he quickly left and headed back to his apartment, tears pricking his eyes the whole walk back.

But he wouldn't shed them.

No. He was past that.

He sighed and locked his doors, slipping his jacket off of his shoulders and throwing it carelessly over the back of the couch, before plopping down.

He grabbed his phone and quickly typed in his password, scrolling through his contacts.

He landed on Spencer's, finger hovering over the call button.

Spencer would know what to do in this situation, right? Him and Ryan still talked frequently.

Brendon knew he had royally fucked up by leaving so soon. That could have been a chance to atleast get Ryan back as a friend.

He pressed call and held his phone up to his ear, hands still shaking slightly.

He heard a few seconds of ringing, before Spencer's familiar voice rang through his ears.

Pre-recorded message. Damn it. He groaned in defeat and laid back on the couch, resting his phone on his chest as he closed his eyes. This had been way too fucking much.

He drifted off to sleep quickly, unaware of the buzzing from his phone. But it wasn't Spencer. It was an unsaved number. One that was all too familiar to him, that he had deleted long ago.

  **"Brendon? Hey, it's Ryan. Spencer gave me your number. Which is why he didn't answer your call. He was on the phone with me.. Listen, can we talk? Like, sit down, have a face to face talk? I think it would help both of us out a lot. Plus, I've really missed you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, though. Just.. Think it over, okay? Call me or text me whenever."**


End file.
